Her tagline, filling the silence in the motherhood discussion, and her book, “I’m Taking My Eggs and Going Home” address the difficult topic of how to deal with wanting a child when it doesn’t seem to be in the cards.
After crossing paths with Lisa through one of Melissa Dinwiddie’s Hangouts and joining Lisa’s site, I realized I had no idea about how difficult this subject could be. I had known since I was 15 that I would never have kids. I petitioned my parents to sign to have my uterus removed. Why deal with all that menstruation and carry this organ around when it wasn’t going to have a purpose?
They: You might change your mind.
Me: I know I won’t.
My parents wouldn’t sign. Of course, that was the right decision. But I didn’t change my mind. Not wanting to have regrets, I took a hard look at my choice in my 30’s. I didn’t find any denial. I haven’t had any kids and I have no regrets.
Give me a newborn and I can coo away with the best of them. I could even win cooing competitions. Getting a baby to smile at me is quite a high. But that doesn’t correlate for me with wanting to have one, which has always been a curious dichotomy to me. But that’s for another blog post. I always felt I was supposed to do something else with my life, like be on some unsolvable math problem research team.
But I bring this up because I have been clueless around this issue and I’ve said some of the things that people in Life without Baby feel hurt by. When a neighbor had a miscarriage, I said, “Just have another one.”
I get the pain now. I didn’t get it when I said it. I’m really sorry about that. I cringe every time I remember that moment.
Life goes on and hopefully we all keep learning?