FAQ

FAQ

 

Why do you do this?

I am a glutton for punishment.  It’s how I know I am loved.

 

Why do you do this?

Whaaa … first answer not good enough for you? Well, ok then.

It really pisses me off when one person’s fear or choice or power impinges on another’s inalienable rights.

Whether it’s a person’s fear of homophobia, death, or someone just taking a power advantage over another for reasons they don’t even know … ohhhh, these so bother me.  I can’t say it any better than Martin Luther King: Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

I want to live in a world full of people who see each other as humans, spirits, each person with needs for good health – physically, mentally, emotionally.

I want to live in a world where each of us, as we meet each other, wonder what we each are up to, how we could help each other, not judge us for some way our body looks or wonder how much money we have so we can jockey for some position.

 

You’re trying to get in our face, right?

I hear this a lot.  Now, it makes me smile and wonder for two reasons.

One, it seems there are much easier ways to get in your face if that was my goal.

Two, it’s rather interesting that crocheted doilies and this site that you could easily click away from could evoke this sort of reaction.

What does that meeeaaannn?  I ask you.

And if you think I am in your face, then maybe you’re getting in the way of someone’s pursuit of their own happiness and you should stop now.

 

I’ve seen your work.  You should be with Good Vibrations or those pleasure parties.

I hear this a lot too.  And this feedback has been very helpful for me to refine what I’m really trying to say.

The fact that Good Vibrations and pleasure parties exist today has probably been instrumental in giving me room to be out with my art and this museum.  I love what they’re doing.

My gut is telling me to make room for us to think, talk, feel without judgment, meet others, be in conversation with others, to help us move to wherever we feel is right for us – allll across the whole range of topics of sex, body image, relationships, mental states, death, you name it.

As for the topic of sex, my message is it’s ok to be who you are.  If you don’t need a vibrator or any toys, you’re still fine.  It’s up to you.

I struggled with this for years.  I’ve landed.  Damn it, finally.  But I’m still so tired of seeing others struggle with this.  I want to add more space and get rid of the judgment around this.  People can do really unsafe things when they can’t think clearly and talk clearly about this.

As a friend of mine who’s a jazz musician said, “Your message about sex is like jazz.  No wrong notes.”

No wrong notes!!  Yessss, that’s it!!

 

Whatever do you hope to get from doing this?

I am sooo tired of having to skirt so many issues or not address topics that are important to me because the people around me cannot handle the conversation.  Many have said we are as sick as our secrets. I’m tired of hiding, of pretending things are different than they are.

You don’t have to join me.  Just don’t get in my way or anyone else’s way as we explore these topics.

For years, I have been using my art as a litmus test to find people in this world who I can relate to, who can easily or at least willingly talk about the hard stuff.  I hope to meet many many more people like that through this museum.  If that is you, get in touch or jump in however it works for you.

I am also doing this for my past selves who have worked through issues of shame, family estrangement, body image, etc.  My past selves would’ve eaten this site up.

I know there are many many people today working through similar issues.  This site is for them.  And for me since I’m not dead yet, I’m still transforming.

 

I think these subjects should be kept private for each to work out however they wish.

I fully support you keeping your own life fully private.  Obviously, this site is not for you.

 

Aren’t you sad thinking about this stuff all the time?

If I didn’t think about it I would be walking dead.

I am as inquisitive as they come, especially when it comes to watching people and wondering what makes us tick.

With that said, I understand people hold and process life events differently.  Please do what feels right for you.

 

I shared a story with you a few years ago.  I hope you’re not going to publish it.

I never reveal someone else’s stories without their permission.  I assume any stories shared with me are off the record unless explicitly stated otherwise.  I may share the essence of a story but details will be changed enough to make it unrecognizable by those who might know it or I just don’t tell it.

 

Your site’s interesting but I’m not ready to say anything yet.

I will never force anyone to talk.  Even with the secrets I still hold, if someone outed them, I would be furious.  And someone goading me to reveal something before I’m ready will probably delay the event even longer while also causing me to not trust that person.

It is not in anyone’s interests to pressure me.  I treat others the same way.

As far back as I can remember, I have always preferred talking about something rather than not talking about it.  This has led to some uncomfortable moments when I’ve broached a subject with someone whom I thought was interested and able to handle it and then realized, oops, they’re not.  I backed off.

 

Everyone goes through their own shit.  What’s the big deal about yours?

You know what the big deal is about mine?  That it is so common.  That’s the big, sad deal.  None of us are getting better by ignoring it.  Even the perpetrators.

Even.  The.  Perpetrators.

I say, let’s put all our shit in a pile, look at it, stir it up, see what pretty pictures we can make of our honest shit.  Only for the willing, of course.

 

Adding humor to some of these topics is so inappropriate.  What could you possibly be thinking?

Humor can be tricky, yes. It would probably be necessary to have this conversation around a particular piece of humor and its context.

In general, humor that works for me and for most here will probably be allowed to stand.  There will almost always be at least one person who will not approve. We’ll just have to figure that out as we go along here.  I always appreciate constructive feedback.

 

This is a weird site – kind of like a comedian, a therapist, and a philosopher walk into a bar, er, museum.

You are very astute. Thanks to many questions from others trying to figure me out, I have discovered that my heroes are George Carlin, Dr. Ruth, and Gandhi.

 

Why aren’t you ok discussing AnyThing?

Yes, some have assumed that my goal is to make everything acceptable, address and undo every taboo.  Well, that’s not it.

I am ok bringing up any subject for a mention.  I’m just not ok using this platform I have built and am responsible for to promote anything that goes against another person’s inalienable rights.  I know gray areas exist.  I want to keep them to a minimum.  It’s bad enough that to build this site I’m using a computer that was most likely not 100% made via fair trade agreements, that I drive a vehicle that burns fossil fuels, etc., etc., etc.

 

You’re quite the hard ass about what we can and cannot say.  What’s up yours?

Yes, some people have talked to me like that.

It’s hard enough to talk about these topics.  Adding complications of abrasive communication style is not helpful and can actually impede progress.  Even though I love humor and will go to great lengths to pull off a good joke, I care even more about people tensed up over these sorts of subjects getting a safe, nonjudgmental place to discuss them with others.

Comments expressing that a person should just get over it or that their perception is not valid are not welcome here.

Each person is responsible for developing their own thoughts and ideas about how to live their life.  We do not help others live well by telling them what to feel or that what they feel is invalid.

 

You’re not this free spirit making everything acceptable.  You have an agenda, you know.

Damn straight.  Boil it down and my agenda is to get everyone the fuck out of the way of anyone pursuing their own happiness.

We are in a world where people right next to us, even ourselves, are being kept down by the fear-based actions of others … which in turn keeps us all down.

And this means that as long as this can be done to a person for characteristic X it can be turned around and done to any one of us for any characteristic someone pleases.

I really don’t want to live in that world anymore.  This museum is my attempt, my effort, my voice to join forces with so many others moving similarly to a place where we can be much more collaborative, helpful, healthful in how we live our lives.

Jump in if this resonates!

 

You don’t have pink hair?

No, I don’t.

 

Questions?  Thoughts?  Contact me.

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